Enough With The “Real Women” Nonsense

Lately you’ve seen a few rants on this website, and that’s because I can’t contain myself. I’ve overheard too many conversations recently and seen too many headlines to keep my mouth shut on certain topics.

For example, there’s a resurgence of comments about Cindy Crawford’s “untouched” photo that was released earlier this year. Many were saying it was empowering because, “It’s more accurate of what ‘real women’ look like.”

While many people are yelling “Amen!” in agreement I have to ask: Do you see what’s wrong with that statement? I’ll point it out – it’s the “real women” part.

Cindy Crawford is a real woman whether she has make-up on or not. Sure, we can discuss photoshopping but as a whole, Cindy Crawford is always a real woman.

You are a real woman regardless of what you weigh, your bra size, how much make-up you have on, whether you have cellulite or not, if you eat chicken wings with your hands or with a knife and fork, or if your farts smell like concentrated evil with a hint of rotten eggs or tulips on a crisp spring morning.

It’s time for ALL women to be proud of who they are and encourage every other woman to do the same. They are “real” women no matter what they look like, what job they have, what political views we possess, who they marry (or don’t marry), what hobbies they love, where they live, what color they are, how physically strong they are, their age, what music they listen to, and any other number of things that make them who they are.

                                What is a “Real Woman” Anyway?

It’s time to stop using this “real woman” language. Models are “real women” just as female chefs, moms, business owners, and everything in between are “real women”. Because by definition saying someone or a group of people are “real women” implies that others, in fact, are not real women. It’s exclusive, hurtful, and plain stupid. And it needs to end.


How every other woman on this earth chooses to look, act, and dress is none of our concern. Who are we to judge if a woman chooses a career that demands she look a certain way? Who are we to judge if a woman refuses to look a certain way? Why does society feel the need to fit us all into a one-size-fits-all mold and we, by default, just accept it as “the way things are” and so willing start pointing fingers and saying, “Yeah, that is what a real woman is/is not.”?

To me the definition of a “real woman” is someone who lives a life true to herself, authentically and unapologetically. She learns from her mistakes and is determined to be the best version of herself, in whatever ways that means, and encourages others to do the same. A real woman doesn’t think she’s superior or inferior to anyone else.

Is that definition perfect? No, but it’s what I think when someone says “real women”. How she looks, acts, votes, weighs, dresses, or talks has nothing to do with her woman-ness.